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Khadija Ali

Its our actions that define us.
What we choose. What we resist.
What we're willing to die for.

Morocco I miss you <3

(via mayflowrs)

No idea where I got the energy this morning but I was up at 7:30am with nothing to do with everyone asleep. Flipped through my twitter feed looking for some hope in the world and couldn’t really process anything since I was still half asleep. I didn’t formally wake up until 11:00am when everyone else was finally awake.

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For tonight I am lost for words but came across a blog that expresses a lot of what I am experiencing.

With being halfway through Ramadan 2014, I’ve been giving a lot of thought towards bettering myself this month. One of the things I’ve learned more than almost anything else is how we are very fragile people, and we need to easier on ourselves. It’s important that we do our best to be better ourselves, but when we fail or fall, we shouldn’t give up.

Before Ramadan began, I wrote out a list of goals I had set out for myself. I was determined to let go of some bad habits, develop some new ones, and establish a stronger relationship with Allah. I have to say, it has been a lot tougher than I had anticipated. I figured that if I gave myself a strict schedule, or if I wrote a list of tasks every day and worked on every task one at a time, I’d reach my goals very easily. Then, reality punched me in the face. And for that, I am thankful. You see, I realized that those approaches to reaching my goals were great, but I had to be prepared for the journey of accomplishing them. That meant that I would fall, that I would mess up, that I would make mistakes, and that the key was that I didn’t let that stop me from trying again.

 

"And He found you lost and guided [you]”

[Surah ad Duha, verse 7]

(via hijabislookbk)

For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are that you’re not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
Andy Rooney (via wordsthat-speak)

(via wordsthat-speak)

يا رب اهدنا الصراط المستقيم

I prayed Fajer last night in the living room and was so tired I grabbed a nearby pillow falling asleep in a blink of an eye with my prayer clothes still on. What felt like a little while layer I felt the vibration of a distant explosion as the living floor and windows shook. Being too tired to wake up, I comforted myself so that I could sneak in at least a couple more hours of comforting sleep.

Things didn’t go according to plan for me, the sound of the explosion caused constant nightmares for the next few hours. Add to that the confusion every time, half awake, I peeked through my eye-lids and realized I wasn’t in my room. I was just tired, confused and to be honest, worried. The line between reality and my nightmares was quite blurred.

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Slept-in on Friday morning, completely free of guilt because it’s the weekend and hence there is no pressure of needing to feel productive. After Fridays prayers my mom and siblings went to go shopping for Eid clothes. I took advantage of the peace and quite to catch-up on a few things I had on my mind which involved housework in addition to emails and writing to follow-up on.

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A couple of nights ago I wasn’t feeling quite sure about life and many things felt out of place. I then remembered the following supplication which I repeated over and over taking deep breaths in.

اللهم اني توكلت عليك وسلمت امري إليك لا ملجأ ولا منجى منك الا اليك

Oh God, I have put my trust in You and surrendered my situation to you, there is no refuge or escape from You except to You

The next day I was taking a nap, those kinds of naps you take because you feel kind of depressed and like there is nothing worth doing in life. I have a pink curtain in my room and so when the lights are off and the sun rays make their way through the window my room becomes a glowing warm pink.

I felt my phone begin to vibrate and started to search for it. I had giving up looking at my iPhone waiting for that email, so my phone was lost somewhere out under the sheets. I looked at my phone and was surprised to see that I was being called by the person I was expecting the email from.

It turns out it was that call. 

Tonight I read some of the most beautiful chapters in the Quran starting from Surat Al-Khaf, Surat Mariam and then Surat Taha. I think there are several reasons why I love these chapters so much, all three Surahs cover stories of patience and wisdom. There are stories and characters within these chapters I would like to share.

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(A late night mug of soothing herbal tea.)

So it’s past midnight and here I am sitting on my bed sipping tea. My legs crisscrossed with my laptop sitting closed in front of me, just staring at it in the dark and I can barely see a silver gleam reflecting off it from the light in the hallway.

When such detailed details stick to my memory I know I am under the wave and everything just seems blue and deep. Being a Physics student I tend to think of things in the form of graphs and integrated equations. If I were to draw my life in the form of a graph it would simply be a sinusoidal wave; for those of you who don’t know, a sinusoidal wave is basically a wave which oscillates the same distance up and down.

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اللهم اني توكلت عليك وسلمت امري إليك لا ملجأ ولا منجى منك الا اليك